I Will Always Protect Them
by alede
Summary: James Potter has a duty. Can he fulfill it? JamesLily. monologue-ish one shot


Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fic apart from the plot. Much is my misery! Thanks to all my ficcy friends and everyone at GAS (you know who you are) for encouraging me to miss orchestra (despite your failings) and write and make movies instead. You rock! Thanks to Carla for lecturing me on how "right" Lily/James is and how "wrong" Lily/Remus is! Please review. Come on. You know you want to. All you have to do is press that little button....  
  
*  
  
I've woken up early again.  
  
Too early.  
  
It's four in the morning.  
  
I sigh and stare blankly at the curtains for a few minutes, trying to recall the dream I'd been having. It was something to do with Lily; but the more I thought about it the less I could remember.  
  
Typical.  
  
I sigh again and pull the covers back around me and Lily. We've kicked them away in our sleep again. Our sleep is always restless nowadays.  
  
I tuck Lily in. I am so lucky to have met her. I really am the luckiest man alive. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps; her eyes are closed hiding the fear that resides in them during the daylight hours. I hate the fact that I cannot take the fear away. I can't make it better, I can't magic it away.  
  
Voldemort makes his presence known everywhere.  
  
Idly, I stroke Lily's hair, twirling the strands around my fingers, marvelling at how soft it feels. I let my other hand wander around her face. My hand drinks in the knowledge of the shape of her eyebrows, the bridge of her nose, the small frown line on her forehead, her beautiful lips. My mind makes a map of her delicate face, lest I ever forget it.  
  
I remember our wedding day, a hot June summer day. I remember how nervous I was – unsure whether it was right to marry Lily in these turbulent times. I remember Sirius flirting with the bridesmaids. I remember Remus coming even though it'd only been a week since full moon and he was looking peaky. I remember Peter trying to organise everyone onto the right sides and getting very confused. I remember waiting at the top of the church with Sirius and the priest, convinced Lily wouldn't turn up, convinced I wasn't good enough. I remember Lily arriving and my mind going completely blank apart from one thought – this definitely was the right thing to do. I remember the service and the way I just couldn't stop grinning. I remember taking the wedding photos, everyone laughing and enjoying themselves for a change – we were so used to running and hiding. I remember the reception – cutting the cake with a knife I'm sure Sirius had charmed so we got up to twenty five children. I remember all the speeches – the touching one Remus made about love, the touching one Peter made about friendship and the not so wonderful one Sirius gave reliving all my most embarrassing moments when trying to woo Lily. I remember everything about that day – one of the happiest of my life.  
  
I kiss her gently on the nose and Harry gurgles from the corner.  
  
Harry.  
  
Harry James Potter.  
  
My pride and joy.  
  
I love him so much. I daresay he is competing with Lily for the title of the love of my life. He's so perfect, so small. I want to protect him against everything, anything – I feel an incredible rush of emotion when I hold him and he smiles at me. His Daddy.  
  
I remember the day he was born, I remember Lily screaming and crying into the hot night. I remember hating myself for making her go through this pain. I remember Sirius looking as if he was about to faint when Lily had her third contraction, as I dashed out of the room and she grabbed his hand and squeezed it so hard I don't think it ever quite returned to its original state. I remember Remus taking charge when I began to panic, Lily was having trouble with having Harry and I didn't know what to do. I remember Peter actually fainting when Lily's waters broke. I remember holding him for the first time, his tiny fragile body lying in my arms, barely the length of my forearm. I remember the tears that formed in my eyes, the way my heart just...melted and the way Lily beamed at us, despite how tired she was, from her hospital bed. I remember the three of us Potters just sitting with each other, our family – my family – all the night. Just sitting and being there with each other.  
  
I don't want to lose that.  
  
I won't let him take it.  
  
Lily stirs from her sleep.  
  
"James?" she whispers, somewhat croakily. "James, what's the matter? Why are you awake? Is Harry ok?" "I just woke up," I mutter. "Harry's fine, I'm fine. Go back to sleep, Lils." I kiss her on the forehead and she cuddles up to me beneath the covers. Our arms go around each other and I feel her breathing slowing as she sinks into sleep again. From the cot by the bed, Harry settles and I hear their quiet breathing in unison.  
  
I feel myself being claimed by sleep, my eyes begin to close and my mind begins to drift. My breathing slows and joins the pattern of my wife and child. I feel so calm, so peaceful, and I don't want to let anyone take it away from me. I won't let Voldemort claim our lives in a sick blood sacrifice.  
  
I will always protect them.  
  
Always. 


End file.
